Sunday, February 27, 2011


Here goes, my first attempt at live blogging. I'm not gonna bother with the red carpet crap... just the Oscarcast itself.

This year, it's personal. As an uncredited production assistant from the Cambridge shoot of "The Social Network," I am unashamedly rooting for myself. I've see seven of the ten Best Picture nominees. Many of them are very good, but my movie is better than all of them. My guess is that the boring old fuddy duddies of the Academy will give Best Picture to "The King's Speech." Whatever. My hunch is my boy Fincher will still squeeze by with Best Director.

If nothing else, we'll have the glorious goofiness of Franco as our co-host for the evening.

See you at 8e/5p.

8:38 pm - You can't lose with Franco in a bear suit.

8:40 - Morgan Freeman really needs to start having more fun with his soothing voice over persona.

8:43 - Franco missed a golden opportunity - he really should have come out with a bloody stump of an arm.

8:45 - Gone With The Wind Sucks. Scarlet O'Hara was a whiny, slave owning, gold-digging bitch.

8:49 - Art Directors shouldn't speak.

8:50 - YAY! WALLY PFISTER!!!!!

8:51 - It's official. This is the year of The Stammer.

8:55 - Kirk Douglas has gigantic earlobes. And he's still horny. He must really love his daughter-in-law.

9:00 - Poor Melissa Leo. She'll be the last person to see Kirk Douglas alive. And she'll have hefty fines from the FCC.

9:05 - Mila's Kunises are trying to escape from her dress. And that's okay.

9:09 - Yeah, yeah, Pixar rocks... snooze.

9:13 - Screenplays! Go Nolan and Sorkin!

9:14 - YAY!!!! I have officially worked on an Oscar Winning Movie!

9:18 - You know The King's Speech is a movie for old people when the writer can't find the microphone to give his Oscar speech.

9:24 - Leave Hugh alone!

9:25 - Franco in drag. It was just a matter of time.

9:32 - Yay! That's two Oscars for actors who successfully pulled off Massachusetts accents!

9:43 - Trent Reznor just won an Oscar!

9:51 - I'm glad I saw Inception at the Imax theater with vibrating seats.  That's Oscar-winning taint stimulation!

9:56 - "That's gross." I love you, Cate Blanchett.

9:59 - Colleen Atwood. Moley, moley, moley.

10:02 - Obama?

10:09 - Shut up, Adrien Brody. Stop making commercials.

10:12 - Short films = I gotta pee.

10:17 - I actually want to see the Facebook Autotune Musical. Go JT!

10:18 - Oprah's boobs are each bigger than her head.

10:27 - Billy Crystal should still be given the option to host.

10:32 - You rock, Downey.

10:35 - Yay! Even though they left me on the cutting room floor, congrats to Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall!

10:43 - Country Music's newest star... Gwyneth Paltrow? The fuck?

10:47 - Best acceptance speech - Randy Newman

10:52 - Ahhhh, the death montage featuring Celine Dion. Their hearts didn't go on.

10:56 - And the award for the hottest dead person goes to Lena Horne.

11:03 - Tom Hooper. Whatever. Your Mums got your movie for you.

11:14 - I'm getting some Winter's Bone for Jennifer Lawrence.

11:21 - Sandra, you've made some crappy movies, but I still love you.

11:23 - Waaaaaah! I'm the King of England. Waaaaaah!

11:25 - Franco would've given a way better speech.

11:33 - During the Best Picture montage, Dayna and Paul's cat decided to lick her vagina in front of the television. It kinda stole the king's thunder.

11:36 - The King's Speech. Whatevah.

11:38 - You know that you haven't won the crowd when a Best Picture winner has his speech cut off by the band.

11:39 - These kids didn't need to lip synch.

11:41 - Again, whatevah. 

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